Hey ,

I don't know why but I always seem to get life lessons from the simple act of having a manicure. Now if you read any of my emails in the past, you might have noticed one or two about my experience with my nails. Part of how I present, part of my brand, is having manicured hands.

I've talked about this in the past when I was being wheeled out by paramedics into an ambulance and one of the paramedics commented on my manicure. I've talked about the bravery it took for me to change the shape of my nails after 20 some odd years and taking that leap to try something new. I've also talked about experimenting with colors that were outside of my comfort zone.

This is what I want to share with you today. I wanted a particular type of nail polish on my nails as I embark on my trip to Europe for the summer. I thought I had done really well. I picked out the two colors I wanted blended. Everything was just right. I didn't schedule enough time for her to do the type of design I wanted but I called ahead and they told me it would be no problem. She could do it.

Off we go until she puts on the color and finds out that it's not working. At least it's not working the way I had shown her in the photo of how I wanted it to look. We kept trying color combinations, whether it was the white part, whether it was the pink part. They all had a little sparkle, all the things.

Now I have two women looking at my nails trying to make this work. For a brief moment I felt guilty for taking up time for them to get my nails exactly the way we were both happy with. I almost said, "Forget it, let's just go with a simple base of color and I'll be on my way." Almost. I thought about it. I pay a lot of money for my manicures. It's my guilty pleasure. I didn't want to go away for three weeks without my nails looking a certain way.

Honestly I thought about my value. I actually thought about how many times I give up or acquiesce or give in when things get hard. This combination of nail color was proven to be challenging and I was falling back into my own pattern, a habit of giving in and giving up and not wanting to take up space or time.

I had a little mini conversation with myself at this point and I was just, "Let's just go with it and see what it looks like. Try it, see if it works. Make the decision and make it right. Make it work in your mind, make it work on your hands. Do whatever buffing or muting of the colors that she has to do to make it work."

Then I said, “I trust you. You pick something to make it work." I moved from giving up to collaborating and trusting the person I was collaborating with, who was way more knowledgeable than me, mind you. They never asked me to give up or just go with a single color. I was the one putting that retreat upon myself.

I started to feel guilty for taking up space, taking up air, taking up time, and how many times do we do this in life? I know that I have a pattern: the first thing I want to do is give up when things get hard. I know enough about myself and the pattern that I have to not pay attention to it. What I mean by that is I recognize the pattern and I make a conscious choice to go in the other direction of the pattern. I am tenacious. I am disciplined. Well let me say it this way: I want to be the type of person who doesn't give up easily, who gives up only after everything has been exhausted and then I know that I gave it my all. Instinctually I always want to give up too soon. It's a pattern that I have.

We all have different habits, patterns, and behaviors that we learned from our early life experiences. I know mine came from that because I was surrounded by people who actually encouraged me to give up when things got hard and that became a part of my DNA. My point in sharing that with you is that those patterns, beliefs, and behaviors from our early life experiences can sabotage our success in life. 

Those patterns decide how hard you fight for the promotion, the boundary, the marriage, the dreams, and the things you actually want.

Pro tip: 3 steps to interrupt the sabotaging pattern

1. Notice it. Catch the urge to quit or shrink the moment it shows up.
2. Name it as the old pattern, not the truth.
3. Do the opposite of what it's telling you. Shift away from the sabotaging behavior.

By the way, my manicure came out so good that she was taking pictures for her portfolio. Success was had by all. It’s called ombre I’m told. What do you think?

If you want to know what type of pattern is driving or sabotaging your success in life that you may not even realize is happening, I invite you to take the Personal Performance Profile quiz. By taking this quiz you'll see what patterns and behaviors you have that are sabotaging your life and what you can do about it, how you can stop it in its tracks, how you can make the choice to shift and have beautifully manicured nails just like mine. 😉

Take the Quiz Here.

All the best,