Like most little girls, my dad was the first man I ever fell in love with.
I am happy to say I still have him with me, alive today
at 93, going on 94.
I know not everyone can say that. Some of you had a father who wasn't present. Some of you have already said goodbye. Some of you
never knew your father at all.
I have always been blessed to have my dad in my life.
I have had most of today to sit with what Father's Day means now that Dad is at this age and has dementia and here is where I am now.
I am his caregiver. The one who makes sure his bills are paid, that he's fed, that his house is clean, that he makes it to his doctor's appointments.
All the things you do as an only child caring for an elderly parent.
From 3,000 miles away.
It is an interesting position to be in, especially considering some of the daddy drama in my history.
When I look back, I remember the times my father wasn't around. The times he was too busy. The times he wasn't kind to my mother. I witnessed a lot that had me feeling a certain way about my dad. I wanted and I needed more.
And now, I'm the one who gets to be around for him. Ironic, isn't it.
And I also get to look at the sacrifices he made for me.
How hard he worked so I could go to private school. How he made sure I
had a roof over my head, clean clothes, food on the table.
They sort of balance each other out. Don't they?
Here is the one thing that stands out for me today as I am looking at this through very mature eyes, even though I am still his little girl.
Our parents did the best they could with the tools they had.
Children don't come with instruction manuals. There is no psychiatrist, no pediatrician following you around for years telling you what to do and how to do it.
That truth made me appreciative. For what I have. For the experiences I did have with my dad. For what it's worth, him not being around much made the times I did have with him stand out in my memory.
So wherever you land with your own father, good, bad, complicated, or somewhere in between, look for the good you can pull out of that relationship.
Have compassion for the man who did the best he could with what he had.
And to all the dads out there with a heart to do their best, we are cheering you on.
We love you. We appreciate you.
