I have to work really hard at not being a jerk sometimes.
Like when I recently took my dog to the vet for her annual exam..
I get disappointed and angry when things don't go my way, like when people let me down, or when other people's mistakes cost me time or money, or both. In the past, that has made me snippy, sarcastic, and not very nice.
So here is what happened.
When I took my dog Lexi in for a visit, the doctor ran a test I did not give permission for. When the receptionist read me the itemized bill, I caught the charge. She called the doctor on the intercom and the doctor claimed that I gave her permission.
She had not.
The old me would have gone full belligerent attitude right there at the front desk and tried to fight it. The other option would be to swallow it and let it slide, which was also tempting, because honestly, who has the energy.
I did neither.
I asked to speak with the doctor. She
came out and after we reviewed our conversation, she admitted that she had ASSUMED I would approve the test. Together, we made a plan to prevent it from happening again at Lexi's next visit. No voices were raised. No one was blamed. I thanked the receptionist, inquired about where she got her eyebrows done, paid my bill, and left.
That was it.
E + R = R.
Event plus Reaction/Response equals Results. We do not get to pick
the event. We always get to choose how to respond versus react.
That choice is the only thing standing between us and the result we actually
want.
I know what my reaction patterns are. And I know why I have them. And knowing them has allowed me to choose responsibly.
I have a specific pattern or what I call my Personal Performance Profile. My pattern, which is Yo-Yo, means when my expectations are not met, the
disappointment I feel shows up as anger.
The vet running a test I did not approve? Expectation broken. Cue the anger.
Knowing that about myself is the difference between reacting from old programming and choosing differently in the moment.
Most of us were never modeled how to handle big feelings in childhood. So we default to whatever pattern we picked up watching the adults around us. Snippy. Silent. Explosive. Avoidant. Take your
pick.
Those patterns are not your personality. They are programming.
I built the Personal Performance Profile to help you see which pattern is running your reactions. Why you get angry. Why you shut down. Why you give in or give up. What is actually pulling you out of being the best version of
you... Optimized.
It is not a judgment. It is a mirror.
Take the quiz
and learn about the behaviors and pattern that, if not recognized and transformed, threaten to sabotage your results in life.
