My children are divorced.
Not
from their partners, but from each other.
It’s been that way for most of their lives. Ever since they were young, there’s been tension. Jealousy.
Meanness. Moments of peace, sure but it never lasted.
As a mother, I kept hoping they’d outgrow it. That adulthood would bring maturity, healing, and
maybe even friendship. But that hasn’t happened.
They both live in California now, and the latest dilemma is that I have to split myself for the
holidays. I’ve tried everything, but I’ve finally accepted this:
I can’t make them love each other.
And I can’t heal wounds that don’t belong to me.
That’s the part I want to share
with you.
If your family dynamics feel complicated right now… I get it. You can twist yourself into knots trying to make peace, create harmony, keep
everyone happy. Especially around the holidays.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
You are not responsible for other people’s healing.
You’re only responsible for your own peace.
So, this Thanksgiving, I’m focusing on that. Being the healthiest, most grounded version of myself, full of love, clear on my boundaries, and letting go of the pressure to “fix” anything.
And maybe that’s what you needed to hear today.
I’m deeply grateful for my daughters. They’re strong, successful, and making their way in the world. I just wish they could be friends someday.
But even if they never are, I’ll keep loving them both, fully and fiercely.
Whatever family dynamics that you need to navigate as
we start this holiday season, remember this: you are only responsible for you and how you show up. You can’t fix or change anyone else.
When you can
practice that, you’ll be able to be at peace this holiday season.
